Sunday, May 2, 2010

We've Created a Monster: An Unreliable, Invalid, and Completely Ridiculous Parenting Theory

In the last couple of months, Canon has been biting Colt. It doesn't seem to be out of anger, or really for any reason at all. But it always ends with plenty of crying on both ends and a nasty mouth-shaped bruise on Colt's arm.

The other day, our tiny family was in the car headed . . . somewhere. Anyway, I was sitting in the backseat with Canon, trying to entertain him on our long road trip. He loves to stick his hand in my mouth and giggles incessantly when I lightly gnaw on it. After awhile, I decided to extend our little activity to his arm. You know, treating it like it was a corn cob, gnawing up and down repeatedly. I love to hear Canon laugh and will do practically anything to keep it going. I had only eaten about two rows of corn when I froze and looked at Barry, who by this point was watching us in the rearview mirror.

"I wonder why Canon likes to bite everybody?" was all I could ask as I sadly put his arm down. Until he learns how to gnaw instead of go for blood, we'll have to find other ways of making him giggle.

Not long after this, Canon was trying to take a toy from Colt, something he does quite often by the way. We had realized by this point that his stealing might possibly be due to a game of "give-and-take" that Barry likes to play with Canon. Again, an innocent attempt to hear that angelic chuckle. Well, Colt had had just about enough of Canon's bullying. Colt leaned down, mouth open and teeth bared to self-defensively "gnaw" into Canon's stealing hand. Again, lots of tears and more mouth-shaped bruises.



Since that time, we have quit playing "give-and-take" and "corn on the cob." The biting seems to have stopped, though Colt has gotten in a few more rounds. The stealing phase, however, is still in full swing. I guess we'll have to figure out some other way to teach him that everything does not belong to him.

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