Professional Big Brother

Do you have a new baby at your house?

Do you want your parents to trust you to take care of that baby?

Do you want that baby to be as cool as you when he or she grows up?

Then you need me - Barry Canon Moss - to teach YOU how to be a great Big Brother.
With three months of experience as a Big Brother, I know all the best tricks to help make YOU as good as ME!

I can teach you how to sit calmly beside your baby brother or sister in the car. How to resist the urge to reach over and squeeze chubby cheeks or pinch chubby toes.

You may not realize this, but there are a few necessities that all babies need. Blankets and pacifiers are the most important. I will show you how to make sure that your baby sibling has all of these things at all times, even when your Mom or Dad doesn't seem to notice that they're missing. And, I'll teach you how to sneak in a pat on your baby's leg when you take these things to her without Mom or Dad seeing. They can be pretty wierd about other people touching your baby.

If you live in a neighborhood like mine, it's important to go on regular Block Patrols to find people for your Mom to hang out with.

Your new baby sibling will keep your Mom pretty busy, so it's your job to get her out of the house and around other adults. Believe me, it'll be worth it for you in the end. Your Mom will start acting pretty crazy if you don't make her get some fresh air at least once each day.

With all of your new responsibilities as a Big Brother, you also have to remember to act your age from time to time, even though inside you feel much older. My suggestion is to refuse to take off your pajama top when you want to play outside.

This way, your Mom will know that, even though you have a new baby brother or sister, you're still the same quirky little boy you've always been . . . even though you know you're not. It's all just a show for her.

Finally, even though your new brother or sister needs a lot of attention from you, don't forget to take care of yourself. Don't cancel play dates just because you think your parents can't handle the baby on their own. After all, they were around when you were raising yourself, so hopefully you have taught them something by now.

Use this time to share with your friends what they can expect when they're new baby sibling will arrive. Preparation is the key!

I hope this short guide has provided you some basic instructions on being a Professional Big Brother like me. You can find additional information in my other books, What's that Smell? and Don't Touch That!: Canon's Guide to Surviving the NICU.