Pregnancy

I know I wasn't pregnant for much of 2009, but it was such a big part of my life for so many months, I just have to write a little bit about it (ok, a lot!). Can I first say that the absolute best part of being pregnant with Canon was having so many of my friends who were also pregnant - most with their first child, too? Mandy was the first and due in January (Luke was actually born December 28). Then me, due March 23 (Canon arrived March 12). Alicia was next, due in late April (Ava Grace came April 11). Next came Mary, due May 17 (Colt was born May 11). Erica is still due to have Jack Hudson in August, but she could come any day now. And Julia Ashlyn is due to Tuan on Sept. 8, but no one thinks she'll make it that long! I can't tell you how much fun it is to have others around who are going through the same new experience with you (and to have a veteran like Tuan in the pack as well). We talked about pregnancy non-stop, and now that most of the babies are here, we talk about them non-stop! This picture shows Tuan (3 months), Mary (7 months), Alicia (8 months), and me (2 days before delivery).

So about pregnancy. This was me at 17 weeks. I thought I was already huge! I'm not one of those girls who thinks that pregnancy was the best thing I've ever experienced. I'm sure my hair and nails were in good health because of the vitamins I was taking, and I'm sure others really believed that there was a glow about me. I, however, didn't notice any of those things. I stayed very calm throughout the whole process, but because it was so easy, I was on occasion waiting for something bad to happen. Even after the times I messed up (like forgetting to take my vitamins or falling while trying to dodge a sprinkler) and I expected the worst, nothing bad happened. Canon kept squirming around in there, maybe trying to remind me to take it easy.

I'm a person of faith, but a different kind of faith took over during this pregnancy. Barry was very adamant that I eat healthy and remain active. He was not one of those husbands who would have made midnight runs to Winn Dixie to buy me pickles and chocolate ice cream. He probably would have insisted that I run (literally) to Winn Dixie and buy carrots and a case of water instead. Thankfully Jordan (Alicia's husband) often convinced the other fathers-to-be to treat us all to Dairy Queen. God bless you, Jordan! I know eating healthy and exercising go a long way toward a healthy pregnancy, but there really is only so much you can do on the outside while your insides are working miracles. That's the faith I'm talking about. I know I contributed somewhat to the healthy fetal development of our son, but in the big picture, I firmly believe that I really didn't do that much. The fact that Canon was born with ten fingers, ten toes, working internal organs, and plenty of height and weight to spare was not determined by the fact that I drank orange juice every morning and walked two miles every other day. It's very difficult to explain, but Canon's birth has definitely strengthened our faith in our omniscient God for two reasons. First, because we have a beautiful and healthy baby boy that neither of us can really believe is ours. And second, because we have so much love for this child. It's a love that's very different from the love we feel for each other or the love we feel for our family and friends. It's something that we could not have conjured up ourselves, but must have come from somewhere - or someone - else. That's the faith that has inhabited our family in the last several months.

To lighten things up a bit, I think it's important to return to all those times I "messed up" during pregnancy. My first big screw up was at school in my 26th week. I tripped over a computer cord in front of about half of my students and ended up face-down on the floor. I jumped up thinking everything was fine . . . then it hit me that I was pregnant! I left the room quickly before anyone could see me get hysterical. The school nurse (Mrs. Wingate) was so wonderful. She called my doctor and Barry so that I could explain everything to them. I left work for a couple of hours to have everything checked out - an ultrasound showed that Canon was not effected in the least. After returning to school, I decided it was best not to worry my students with any details. This turned out to be a bad decision. Another teacher told me later that day that several of my students were very upset after I fell. One student reported in the next day that her mother was afraid I had lost the baby. We had a quick classroom conference to straighten everything out.

My next big mess up happened about two months later just after we moved into our new house. I was trying to be a good steward of all the money we had spent on our landscaping by watering our new lawn. Because Barry and I are both a bit tight with our funds, we decided it was unnecessary to put in a sprinkler system (a decision I regret to this day). I was busy moving our three sprinklers to various positions in our yard and again, I forgot I was pregnant. I adjusted the trajectory (is that the right word?) on the sprinkler then sprinted across the yard to dry safety. As my foot caught the seam between our soggy new sod and the sidewalk, I suddenly remembered why I'm not supposed to sprint. Gravity took over, and I landed on all fours, then slid softly onto my belly. Luckily, I already had experience with falling, so I didn't freak out. I felt Canon moving inside of me and decided that we were both ok, and no medical attention was needed. I can't be sure, but I wouldn't be surprised if Canon started his initial descent at this point. It was mere days later that he arrived!

All in all, Canon was a very quiet fetus. He didn't move around too much, which caused me quite a bit of worry when I heard how much my friends' babies were kicking. I couldn't complain of any bruised ribs, however, so I was fine with his calm nature - something he exudes in "real life" as well. He didn't give me heartburn or cause me any morning sickness. He hung out low in my belly so that when I sat down, he was literally sitting in my lap. He basically played by the rules - no drama (except what I caused myself) and no pain (again, only that which I caused myself).

To say it was easy would be an understatement. To say I loved it wouldn't be entirely true either. Pregnancy was just another natural chapter in my story. Parts of it were memorable, but as a whole it blends in with New Year's celebrations and birthday parties. I loved it, but I don't long for it. I don't miss it, but I definitely want to do it again. Barry wasn't my favorite person during it, but my feelings for him have grown stronger because of it. Pregnancy wasn't made clear to me until after Birth. Birth is the real life-changer. Pregnancy is just a means to an end, I guess. You dive in head first, hope it doesn't break your body and spirit, find strength from some unknown source, then be constantly reminded of the miracle that it produces. These are the only words in my limited vocabulary that can begin to explain it, even to myself.