Follow-Ups

On Friday, Tera had the last of her follow-up appointments. I may or may not have mentioned that the Ophthamologist cleared her earlier this month, saying that the vessels in her retina are mature and that there is no need for her to come back unless, of course, we find other vision issues that need his attention.

Friday's follow-up was with the Cardiologist to see if the ever-looming PDA had finally disappeared. The whole family drove up Thursday night and spent the night with Sam and Alicia. Barry took Canon to get new tires for my car while Tera and I went to the doctor. I'm continually amazed at how quiet Tera is at these doctors' appointments. She wiggles a lot but rarely cries or gets upset, despite the pokes and prods that come with every appointment. Maybe she really is just used to it. I had to give her a bottle while the Cardiologist did the Echocardiogram. She was squirming so much, it was making her heart race!

The short version of Tera's follow-up is that she is, as expected, "perfectly healthy." The nurse checked her oxygen saturation. Even while she drank her bottle (which was the number one cause of her de-sats in the hospital) she was satting 100%. I know this was a number we wanted to avoid when she needed additional oxygen to breathe, but 100% is what you want to see people satting when they're breathing room air. When Tera satted 100% in her Isolette, it meant that she needed less oxygen. Staying at 100% too long could cause eye damage. Luckily, that potential problem is no longer potential . . . and no longer a problem!

The PDA is also completely gone! No more follow-ups needed for that, which is a relief. After I left this doctor's office and headed down the hall to the Neonatologist's office to get his evaluation, the Cardiologist came back to find me to tell me of one minor issue. An "interval" of her heart had measured a little bit long. He says that it's probably an inaccurate measurement because it's hard to get a good read on such a small heart. Nonetheless, we'll need to bring her back in a couple of years to have everything checked again . . . just to be sure. If it's not worth worrying about for two years, then I'm still going with the initial "perfectly healthy" evaluation he gave us.

And, of course, what most people want to know about: Tera's size. She weighed 9 pounds 5.8 ounces at the appointment, right on track with her weight gain in weeks passed. She's also 22 inches long, which means she's lengthened about an inch and a half since we came home. I'm not sure of the percentiles for these measurements. My logical reasoning skills tell me that they are in the low numbers for a four month old (maybe even negative numbers) and probably pretty average for a one month old.

I mentioned earlier that I walked to the Neonatologist's office after Tera's first appointment. As luck would have it, her Neonatologist left for a meeting just before we got there. Because he doesn't schedule appointments, we just have to try to be at the hospital at the same time he is. His secretary told us that he would be back Sunday evening at 5:00, so we made plans to come back then. (When we came back on Sunday, we learned that he had swapped his Call time that night with another Neonatologist. Everyone seemed a little surprised that we were trying to follow-up with him, so Barry and I decided that there was really no need to continue to try to meet with him. Every other doctor has given Tera a clean bill of health, so we're thinking he won't tell us anything different.)

After Tera's appointment, we drove a little further north to Smith Lake, Barry's absolute favorite place to be. I thought that I left my camera at home, but I found it in Tera's diaper bag after we got back home. Needless to say, I didn't get many pictures.

Big Mom and Debbie were excited to get to hold Tera for the first time, and Nonna fed her several times throughout the weekend. Canon even held Tera for the first time. We were sitting on the bed with Poppa watching a movie, and Canon said that he wanted to hold her. I put Tera is his lap, and he just watched her for a few minutes. He is soooo sweet to her. He's started giving her hugs and kisses several times a day. When we ride in the car, he looks at her and smiles and talks to her. The other day, when I picked him up from school, another child was trying to reach into her car seat (don't worry, she didn't touch Tera!), and Canon said "That's my sister!" I loved it, of course!


So Canon was holding Tera on the bed, and Barry walked in the room. Without thinking, Canon tried to jump up to go see his dad. Tera did a slight Forward Bend before I grabbed her so that Canon could go see his Daddy! He hasn't held her since.
Overall, we had a great time at the lake, but just as with going to my parents' house, the weekends are a lot harder than they used to be! It's part of parenthood, I guess.

A Spouse-less Anniversary and a Child-less Father's Day

We didn't mean for our Anniversary/Father's Day weekend to turn out this way, but as we've learned in the last four months, Expect the Unexpected.

The original plan was for Barry to take Canon to the lake for the weekend and leave Tera and me at the house to relax. There were going to be lots of people at the lake, and I'm still just a little nervous about Tera being in big crowds. Instead, my mom and sister made plans to come visit us for the day on Sunday, and we would spend the rest of the weekend doing what we do best . . . not much of anything. After a couple of days with this train of thought, it suddenly seemed silly that we should sit at home alone. MyGoo and Doc invited us to come to their house, thus saving Tera and me a weekend of boredom and saving MyGoo and Ann Steiner some gas money on Sunday. Because I would now have a couple of extra sets of adult eyes, we also decided to let Canon stay with us in Greenville so that Barry could get a much needed weekend away. It really did just happen to be our Anniversary/Father's Day weekend.

The Moss Family drove to Montgomery together to meet MyGoo and Doc, who then drove me and the youngin's back to Greenville (still not ready for long roadtrips with Tera alone in the backseat, or worse . . . with Canon beside her!!). To say the least, the weekend was fun but not exactly what I would call relaxing. Anyone with children would probably attest that taking care of kids becomes much more difficult the farther you get from home. No matter what supplies you bring - snacks, train sets, movies, etc. - kids need more energy from their parents when they're away from their everyday surroundings. Canon epitomized this philosophy this weekend. Besides the normal two-year-old drama, Canon's new biggest issue is going to bed. At home, I can contain him pretty well and, though he cries a good bit, he eventually falls asleep without having one of us lie with him for too long. In this somewhat unfamiliar place, however, he not only needed me to lie with him until he fell asleep, it took him much longer to fall asleep. Saturday night, I spent two hours in the bed with him before I successfully snuck out without waking him up.

Thankfully, Doc bought some things to serve as reinforcements during the daylight hours. Canon's two favorite things: a pool and a water table.

Even Tera sat outside with us for awhile to watch the festivities.

While I was breathless trying to entertain Canon (I eventually figured out that he played better when I completely ignored him and let him come to me instead of me trying to force Fun Time on him), MyGoo, Doc, Ann Steiner and Jason were soaking up their Tera Time. Jason had never met Tera before this weekend, and Ann Steiner had only seen her twice but never held her.




I miss my relaxing week days, just the two of us . . .

. . . but it was really great to get some extra time with Canon. Barry has been so good about taking care of him on the weekends - and Canon just soaks his Daddy up - so when both Canon and Tera are together, I'm usually more focused on T. Though thoroughly exhausting, it was a fulfilling weekend. I asked Barry how he felt about being away from his wife on his Anniversary and his kids on Father's Day. Since he accidentally wished me a Happy Anniversary ten days ago (on June 8), I got the impression that, though he missed us terribly, he was having a good time right where he was.

On Saturday, some friends of my parents and sister threw the Second Annual White Trash Bash. After last year's event, everyone learned that if you don't go all out on your costume, you'll be even more ridiculed than if you show up looking absolutely ridiculous. So as not to be unprepared, MyGoo spent much of the afternoon preparing her costume, even picking up a few pieces for Doc to make his attire extra trashy. Here is Canon helping MyGoo pick out some jewelry. It's all about accessories!

And the final product:

MyGoo is dressed as "Miss Faded Glory." For those of you who are too sophisticated to buy clothes from WalMart, Faded Glory is WalMart brand clothing. Everything she's wearing (except the boots) are authentic Faded Glory pieces. Doc just went for All-Around Trashy. His shirt says "Never Fear, Grandpa is Here" and though it's hard to tell in the picture, he's wearing flip-top sunglasses. Though not on purpose, the kids look pretty trashy, too. Too bad they didn't get to attend the party. MyGoo and Doc offered to let me go for awhile, and though I had packed last year's Mule Day t-shirt, I was way to tired to have any kind of adult fun. Instead, I hung with my kids.

Doc cooked everyone hamburgers for lunch on Sunday, Father's Day. Leave it to my dad to do things for everyone else on Father's Day! Not surprisingly, Canon fell asleep in the high chair and didn't wake up until it was time to pack the car to go home.

I texted Barry to tell him that I would be buying lots of pretty things for myself after the "fun" weekend I'd had with both children. I don't know why, but I was really expecting him to write back, "Whatever you want!" or "You're the best!" or even "Just don't spend too much." Instead, I got a "It really makes you appreciate the father, doesn't it?" Since it was Father's Day, I let him have that one. We met him in Montgomery later in the day then started our last leg of the trip home. I'm so glad I don't have to work tomorrow!

Getting Out

Life at home has been pretty eventless these last four weeks, which is the main reason that I haven't written much since Tera arrived at home. I haven't been able to come up with a creative way to write about eating, sleeping, pooping, and spitting up. And watching TV, which I have been doing a lot of these days. I still haven't taken Tera inside any public places, but I have afforded myself a couple of outings in the last week.

In addition to visiting friends and actually going in their houses(!), Tera also attended her first Bunco last week. This was definitely more for me than for her. We left the boys at the house and had a couple of hours of much needed Girl Time. I know we get that all day, but I needed some girls that would talk back!

We also had two lunch dates last week, both at TGI Friday's because they have outdoor seating. The first was with Alicia and Kinley, and Kari Beth and John Turner. Tera is older than both Kinley and John Turner but, not surprisingly, very noticeably smaller. The second lunch was with MyGoo and Doc. They came down last Saturday to visit and to keep the kids so that Barry and I could go to our friend, David's, wedding. I thought it would be harder to leave her for such a long period of time (we were gone for about 3 1/2 hours) but I was surprisingly comfortable. MyGoo fed her a couple of bottles throughout the day, another activity I thought I would worry about that turned out to be just fine. While Tera still has minor choking spells, they don't seem to be more than what any other baby deals with. I've been feeding her while cradling her in my arms instead of lying her on her side like I did in the hospital. She's been eating great like this, so neither MyGoo nor I was too nervous about letting someone new feed her. I think it will be awhile before we have any non-family baby-sitters though. She's only two weeks old (technically)!

We went to the doctor yesterday for the second time since Tera's been home. The Occupational Therapist at UAB referred Tera for an Early Intervention Program in Dothan to work out some of her muscle and joint stiffness. This is not unusual. Lots of NICU babies are a little cramped from being cooped up in an Isolette for so long. Since we've been home, I have been worried that her stiffness has gotten a little bit worse. It's harder to stretch her out to do her exercises. When the Early Intervention Specialist called yesterday about her referral, she informed me that their policy is not to evaluate babies until they are at least three months old, adjusted. That means three months from Tera's due date. After a call in to Michele, my OT sister-in-law, she explained that stiffness is not one of those things that I should ignore for the next three months. If I was really worried about her, I should just go straight to the pediatrician and then to a private OT if needed. So, that's just what I did.

After evaluating her, the pediatrician said that he thought she was moving very good. In fact, he said that whatever stiffness she might have had at UAB seems to be gone now. He explained that Tera is at an age now where she will fight back when you pull on her arms and legs. When I tried to extend her appendages to stretch them, she pulls against me. (Side story: after Tera's "rolling over" event last week, I talked with Beth, one of my Preemie Mom friends, about it. We joked that the NICU must put steroids in the baby's milk while they're in the hospital. How else do they come home so strong?!). The pediatrician's suggestion was to let her relax before pulling and tugging on her. She might be more receptive then. So, from now on, Tera will get a daily massage from me, followed by some mild stretching exercises just to keep everything loose. I'll still have the Early Intervention Specialists evaluate her in three months, just to be sure.

The upside of going to the doctor for seemingly no reason is that Tera was weighed again. I know that I see her everyday, so it is hard for me to see changes, but I was a little worried that she wasn't growing very much. She's been eating great - about 3 1/2 ounces in each bottle nowadays - but she looks just the same to me. According to her growth rate in the hospital, she should have gained about two pounds since we've been home. She was 6 pounds 10 ounces then, so I was hoping for anything between 8 and 8 1/2 pounds. 8 pounds 10.5 ounces! It makes for One Proud Mama!

Already Catching Up!

It started out as a lazy day. After the boys left to start their day, neither Tera nor I was too interested in doing anything exciting. We spent the first half of the morning watching Lifetime and doing little more than this:

Tera eventually woke up, so I decided to let her have some Tummy Time. I have to be really strategic with Tummy Time. If it's too soon after she eats, then she ends up with a face covered in spit up. Because she's usually asleep until just before she eats, we don't get that many opportunities so I decided to take advantage of her early rising this morning.

She was very active, kicking and grabbing at her blanket. I looked away for a short moment, and when I looked back, she was laying on her back. I didn't think too much of it. She is on a bed, and I thought maybe I had put a little extra weight on one side of her, causing her to roll over using none of her own effort. So, I put her back on her tummy. In less than a minute, Tera had her arm under her head, and she was kicking her feet trying to get back over to face the ceiling. I grabbed my phone and got a video, but the website is not letting me upload it at this time. Basically, it looks like Tera riding an invisible bicycle. Hilarious!

Once she got over the second time, I tried it again (just to be sure), and she did it a third time! Can you believe it? This is a 2- to 3-month old skill that she's technically done at less than two weeks old. I don't want to be too over zealous, so I'm going to assume that this was just a fluke, just a really good day when Tera had a lot of motivation to get off her belly. But it's still pretty exciting!

And now, she's completely worn out.

Professional Big Brother

Do you have a new baby at your house?

Do you want your parents to trust you to take care of that baby?

Do you want that baby to be as cool as you when he or she grows up?

Then you need me - Barry Canon Moss - to teach YOU how to be a great Big Brother.
With three months of experience as a Big Brother, I know all the best tricks to help make YOU as good as ME!

I can teach you how to sit calmly beside your baby brother or sister in the car. How to resist the urge to reach over and squeeze chubby cheeks or pinch chubby toes.

You may not realize this, but there are a few necessities that all babies need. Blankets and pacifiers are the most important. I will show you how to make sure that your baby sibling has all of these things at all times, even when your Mom or Dad doesn't seem to notice that they're missing. And, I'll teach you how to sneak in a pat on your baby's leg when you take these things to her without Mom or Dad seeing. They can be pretty wierd about other people touching your baby.

If you live in a neighborhood like mine, it's important to go on regular Block Patrols to find people for your Mom to hang out with.

Your new baby sibling will keep your Mom pretty busy, so it's your job to get her out of the house and around other adults. Believe me, it'll be worth it for you in the end. Your Mom will start acting pretty crazy if you don't make her get some fresh air at least once each day.

With all of your new responsibilities as a Big Brother, you also have to remember to act your age from time to time, even though inside you feel much older. My suggestion is to refuse to take off your pajama top when you want to play outside.

This way, your Mom will know that, even though you have a new baby brother or sister, you're still the same quirky little boy you've always been . . . even though you know you're not. It's all just a show for her.

Finally, even though your new brother or sister needs a lot of attention from you, don't forget to take care of yourself. Don't cancel play dates just because you think your parents can't handle the baby on their own. After all, they were around when you were raising yourself, so hopefully you have taught them something by now.

Use this time to share with your friends what they can expect when they're new baby sibling will arrive. Preparation is the key!

I hope this short guide has provided you some basic instructions on being a Professional Big Brother like me. You can find additional information in my other books, What's that Smell? and Don't Touch That!: Canon's Guide to Surviving the NICU.

Granny Panties

I'm starting to put some Newborn-sized clothes on Tera even though they are still a little big . . .

Ironically, this particular outfit is made by Victoria's Kids. Victoria . . . as in, Victoria's Secret. I don't think they'll be knocking down our door for Tera to model these Granny Panties!