Growing

Day of Life: 42

Our nurse greeted me in the hallway this morning with an, "I have something to show you!" I didn't know what to expect, but the excitement in her voice let me know it wasn't anything to be afraid of. As we walked in the room, she explained that earlier this morning, she had put the zebra hat on Tera "just for fun" and found that it fit better than anticipated.

There's still plenty of room for growing, but anything that shows how much bigger Tera is getting is good news to me. She is, in fact, continuing to grow. She gained almost a whole ounce at last night's weigh in, now at 3 pounds 10.9 ounces (1675 grams) and is 42 centimeters long which, sources tell me, is right at 16 1/2 inches. I wish I could explain to you how much bigger she looks now, and healthier. Her skin, like her hair, is getting darker (I'm starting to wonder where she came from), her hands and feet are chubbier, and there's not quite as much loose skin on her arms and legs as there was only a few weeks ago. I told MyGoo when we first arrived at UAB that we were getting ready to watch pregnancy on the outside, and that is just what is happening.

In addition to seeing her physical changes, Tera's internal changes are also becoming more evident. She is having fewer apnea spells (none to speak of in the last couple of days) which tell us that the part of her brain that tells her to breathe is developing. While her respiratory rate can still be high at times, it is slowing down at increasing intervals. This tells us that she is learning to take deeper, more efficient breaths instead of the multiple short breaths that don't hold much oxygen saturation. Because of this, her oxygen saturation is also higher, causing her need for additional oxygen to slowly decrease. Today, the oxygen in her isolette is down to 25%. She still needs a little extra when she lays on her back - something she will have to do consistently in the coming weeks - but in the big picture, she's definitely improving.

To celebrate this continuing improvement and noticeable changes, I mostly just took pictures of Tera today. Though I tried to take several while she was in her bed, most of them were taken while I held her. The isolette just causes too many glares. I did manage to get a few keepers, however.

As if the hat was not enough, our nurse continued to play dress-up with Tera by placing her very first bow in her hair. I love that Tera is finally to a point where we can do these fun things with her. While we are always mindful of her fragility, I also like to be reminded that I can, at times, still treat her like a baby rather than a patient.

All I could think today is that she is looking more and more like Barry (without the pink bow, of course).

These next photos were taken just after putting her back in her bed after our Kangaroo hold. She flails around more than usual when she's on her back, acting as if she might be falling from the sky - arms and legs flung about in spastic motions. Today, however, when the nurse rolled her back onto her stomach, she whined and fussed in frustration, even attempting to push herself back over onto her back. So, the nurse complied.

"Reach for the sky!" as Woody would say.

And now, the cutest pictures. Be mindful that I take these pictures myself with one hand on Tera and the other on the shutter button of the camera/iPhone, so be kind when you judge the allignment and clarity of each one.

She has recently begun to find her thumb.

Of course, I had to get some with the Retro Camera.

During our second hold of the day, the nurse brought me a mirror so that I could see Tera's expressions better. /

The last two days, I have been dozing off while holding Tera. I'm being modest when I say "dozing" because it's actually more like taking the initial plunge into a coma. The force of my head falling harshly to my chest usually wakes me up if the sounds of Tera's monitors don't do it first. It's embarrassing, and I always look around the room to make sure there is no one hiding behind Tera's isolette who might giggle at the sight of my head flopping limply around on top of my neck. (So that's how babies feel).

I am also trying to highlight various things around Tera's rooms that are meaningful. Today we have Tera's bulletin board. In addition to some of the notes, cards, and prayers that Tera has received from friends and family, I also include different things that the hospital staff has given. For example, the March of Dimes calendar gives me a layout of all of the activities planned for the month. The Music Therapist leaves her note each time she plays and sings for Tera. The sign in the top right corner was made by my friend, Leah, in Dothan. Canon has one, too!

I had intended to leave the hospital early enough this afternoon to go to the gym before picking up Canon. I've only been a few times in the last couple of weeks and just can't quite get into a routine of doing it. When I got ready to leave today, Tera was wide awake. She had just filled a diaper with a very foul smelling . . . we'll just call it a mess and leave the rest to your imagination . . . and seemed very happy about it. For the few minutes prior to this, she was de-satting quite a bit and obviously irritated about something. That something eventually made it's way out of her system and all was well with her world again. When the nurse flipped her over for me to change, she stayed so alert and awake that I just couldn't walk away, especially after the nurse decided to leave her rolled slightly on her side - to give her a new perspective I think.

I stayed until the last comfortable second. Tera's eyelids were starting to get heavy, and I knew sleep was coming soon. She still seemed to be trying to find something to focus on, so I moved the zebra hat to within what I hope is sight range for her developing eyes. When Canon was just a few days old, I read somewhere that babies can't distinguish one color from the next but do like to look at start contrasts, like black and white. I took tiny white pieces of paper and, using a black marker, drew random pictures on them before taping them on the inside of Canon's bassinet. I thought that the zebra hat might serve the same purpose with its white and black stripes.

I made it to OLS in plenty of time to get Canon. We had to make a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up dinner fixings for tonight. Sam and Alicia came over to make chicken casserole. They are currently living in Sam's uncle's basement while they work to sell their two pieces of real estate (a house and a condo) in Mobile, where they moved from last October. Sam has been craving chicken casserole but has had no place to cook it. Lydia graciously offered up her kitchen, and an hour later, dinner was served.

I took this picture to send to Brittney, Canon's first and favorite baby-sitter. She is a student at Auburn now and hasn't seen him in a couple of months, so I wanted to show her how much he has grown. Even after taking it, I was surprised at how much he has grown, not just in physical stature but in his overall look. I shouldn't be so surprised that as Tera is changing so constantly and consistently, so is Canon.