Monday, April 25, 2011

The Tortoise and the Hare: The Tale of a Schizophrenic Preemie

Day of Life: 62

I slept through my 2:00 a.m. alarm this morning and woke up at 3:30. Because I was so wide awake - and because my next alarm was set for 5:00 - I decided just to stay up and get the rest of my things packed for our trip back to Birmingham. Maybe we could even leave a little bit earlier than originally planned. I went into Canon's room about 4:15 to get a swing to take back for the baby. When I creeped in, Canon popped up and looked at me, as wide-eyed as I had been at 3:30. He hung out on our bed while I finished getting ready, and we were on the road by 5:00. The sun started rising somewhere around Brundidge, which is also about the time that Canon fell asleep.

By Prattville, I was worried that I might fall asleep any minute, so I pulled off the interstate and parked behind a hotel (not a sketchy one, I promise) to take a short nap. Canon woke up as soon as the car stopped, so my nap was canceled. Instead, I sat in the backseat with Canon and covered up with a blanket to do my motherly duties while he watched Thomas the Train. I was wide awake by then, but I got a caffeine fix at McDonalds before getting back on the interstate . . . just in case. Canon stayed awake the rest of the trip, and we made it to OLS by 9:00. I explained our morning to his teachers and apologized in advance for what was sure to be a difficult day for them. They said not to worry. All of the kids would be a little off their normal routine this morning because of the long Easter weekend and all of the sugar that was involved.

I went straight to the hospital after that and found my tiniest child fast asleep.

I re-explained my morning to the nurse, and told her that I was just going to pull the curtain for a little while and take a nap. Just as soon as the curtain was in place, the doctors came in to make Rounds. Tera's pediatrician was back today. We seem to never be at the hospital at the same time, and I was glad to see her. She gave Tera's progress report to the Neonatologist, and then they were away. Nothing to discuss today.

I finally curled up on the couch to rest. While I dream, I'll tell you how Tera is doing. She gained another ounce last night. She weighs 4 pounds 15 ounces (2245 grams). In talking to her nurses on the phone over the weekend, it seemed that Tera was taking a bottle generally every other feed, though they gave her one whenever she seemed interested. She usually only took about half of each bottle, however, which made me question how interested she really is in this whole bottle thing. I'm not sure that she finished even one whole bottle since I fed her early Saturday morning. This is not a bad thing; it's just still something I'm getting used to. If the beginning of last week was a Sprint, the beginning of this week has the makings of a Marathon. Early last week was all about quick progress for Tera. She was The Hare. Since the weekend, it's all about slow and steady. Again, not a bad thing - just something new. The Bottle Battle continues.

I was able to rest about an hour before deciding I could function for the rest of the day. By then, it was time to try Tera's first bottle of the day shift.

She did just as her weekend nurses had reported, but I really didn't care that she only took about 10cc. It was great to hold her again. Today while she ate, she did everything a little opposite. She would fall asleep when I put the bottle in her mouth, then wake up when I took it out. She'll get it eventually.

Soon after feeding her, I got a text from Elyse that she and Bryan were back for their follow-up visit with their son. For those of you trying to keep up, Elyse is Mary's sister. Their son was born full-term two days after Tera was born. They were in the NICU with us for a few days because of a possible heart problem. They found out today that there really is no problem, and his heart is just as healthy as it should be. I sat with them in the 2nd Floor lobby while Elyse fed the baby. They also have another son. He's about six months younger than Canon, so they coached me on having two kids at home. After keeping them at the hospital way longer than they expected to stay, I finally let them leave.

When I got back to Tera's room, the Speech Therapist was there working on her bottle feeding. Earlier in the day, Tera's nurse had gotten caught up dealing with a problem with another baby. Because of this, Tera was about an hour off of her normal feeding schedule. Tera was not bothered by this at all. She slept straight through until the nurse got her ready to eat at 9:30. (I hope this is a good sign for the future). The plan was to gradually work her back into her regular feeding times, but when she didn't take her whole bottle at 11:30, she got the remaining milk through her tube a little later than usual as well. So, when the Speech Therapist was there at her normal 2:30 meal time, she had really finished her previous meal only about two hours earlier. Needless to say, Tera wasn't interested in this bottle either. She just wants us to leave her alone already!

It wasn't long after this that I decided Canon and I needed to get home a little earlier than usual. I left the hospital about 3:30 to pick him up from OLS. We were home well before 5:00, so I got an early supper ready for him. Canon has started this routine of coming home each afternoon and laying on the couch with Lydia for a little while to watch a cartoon movie - usually Monsters, Inc. Today was no different, except I think they watched A Bug's Life.

By 7:00, we were upstairs and reading our night time stories. After some FaceTime with Barry, it was time for bed. He didn't put up much of a fight.

Lydia went to a movie tonight with a friend, so I had the house to myself and my sleeping toddler. I spent a couple of hours writing and eating, then I, too, tried to get to bed earlier than usual. There is always something to do, however, so I didn't actually make it to bed until about 11:00. I still think I'll get more than my usual six hours tonight.

What About Barry

Barry had to put up with me a lot today. I was really good and didn't call him too early this morning while we were on the road, but once he was awake, I kept him on the phone for a bit longer than usual so that I could stay more alert. At some point today, I talked with the nurse about Barry's concerns with bringing Tera home too early. She told me that, first of all, she didn't think Tera would be ready to go home in "a couple of weeks" like the doctors originally thought last night. After the weekend she had - with fair bottle feedings and her oxygen jumping up and down even the slightest little bit - I wasn't surprised to hear her say this. Regardless of when we go home, the nurse said that we should voice all of our concerns to the doctors to make sure they understood if we weren't comfortable bringing her home. She also said that the doctors wouldn't send her home until she was absolutely ready to come home, no matter how competent we are as parents. My point in telling you all of this is to say that I called Barry to tell him all of this as well. Over the weekend, we had a few discussions about his concerns with Tera coming home early, and I was trying to ease his mind a little bit.

I also asked Barry if he would take a couple of days off work to come spend some time in Birmingham during the week. I want him to do this for two reasons. First, it will give him time to be around Tera for more than an hour over the course of an entire weekend. I don't want us to sit at the hospital for eight hours at a time while he's here, but I do want him to be around her more than he has been before she comes home. I think it might make him just a little more comfortable with her, even if he's not more comfortable with her coming home. The second reason is just for us. Usually when we're together, we also have Canon. We like it this way. On the weekends, we want to have Canon with us because one of us hasn't been around him for the whole week prior. On nights that a set of grandparents has him, we usually spend lots of time with our friends. All of these weekends have been great, but I would really love to spend some time with just Barry. If he comes up on a weekday, Canon will be at OLS, so - between hospital visits - we can plan some fun things to do together. We can go to a movie in the middle of the afternoon (this is one of my favorite things to do) or something else fun. I just think it's important that we get at least a minimal amount of time together before we have two kids at home, one of which I don't think I'm going to want out of my sight for the first several weeks.

All of this is to say that Barry eventually had to tell me today that if I wanted him to be able to take two days off of work, I was going to have to leave him alone so that he could some work done. Point taken!

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