The Tiniest Three Month Old Baby

After only six days at home, Tera is three months old! It's very strange to think of her as a three-month-old baby. I know we've been together that long, but I still think of her as a newborn. Who knows? I might always think of her as that and never let her grow up.

As most of you know, I'm not much for scheduling professional photographers, especially when the doctors tell me I'm not allowed to take her anywhere but to the doctors' offices for awhile. So, just as with Canon at this age, I've taken some pictures on my own.

This is the dress that MyGoo made for Tera to wear home.




I really like this one with her little foot poking out at the bottom.

And these were just for fun. We have a lot of time on our hands these days, so I'm all about setting up a fake studio.


At three months old, Tera is a wonderful baby. I'm not sure what I expected, but she's absolutely perfect. She rarely cries. I mostly hear her cry when she's taking a nap in her bassinet and realizes that no one is holding her. While Canon was very independent, I can already tell Tera is going to be a Lap Baby. That serves me right for all the hours I spent holding her in the hospital while she napped. It seems that she has a hard time napping any other way.

She's a great sleeper at night, though. Once I've gotten her tightly swaddled, she'll usually sleep for at least four hours, sometimes even five or six! She still makes lots of noises, grunts and groans especially just after she's eaten. She's eating about 2 1/2 to 3 ounces in each bottle. I've started supplementing with formula in her night time bottles. I think this helps her sleep a little longer, and it gets her used to taking a little bit of formula.

I can't be sure, but my best guess is that she weighs about 7 pounds now. I tried weighing her on our scale. The first attempt gave me something close to 9 pounds, and the second was 7 exactly. I'm not even considering that this child weighs 9 pounds, so I'm going with the 7-pounder. This has been one of the strange transitions from the hospital to home. There, I knew exactly to the gram how much Tera weighed each day. Now, I'm using an unreliable scale and the fact that she gained about 1/2 pound each week in the hospital to estimate her weight. I just know that she's eating and sleeping and seems to be happy. She's also growing out of some of her preemie clothes. While this could be due to my poor drying skills, I think this is also a good sign that she is growing.

We have had a few choking scares over the last six days, but nothing compared to what I was originally worried about. It pretty much just feels like having a newborn at home. The only difference is that I am completely healed and, with the exception of needing to catch up on an hour or two of sleep during the day (which I rarely do), I'm ready to get up and go while Tera still needs some time to recuperate. She'll catch up with me in a few weeks, though, and we'll take over the town together!

An Update From Home

I know I have left you high and dry for the last few days. After we got the news last Friday that our Discharge Day was quickly approaching, I quit writing because I didn't want to risk jinxing anything. One thing I've learned from Tera (and all babies really) is that when you say something out loud, babies make it their duty to do the exact opposite. I'll update our last few days in the hospital soon, but until then, I wanted you to know that we are safe and sound and all under the same roof.

It is much less scary being at home than I thought it would be. By the time we left the hospital on Tuesday, I felt so ready to go. I was worried about Tera's choking episodes, but I didn't feel like it was anything that could be fixed by staying at the hospital. It was just time to go home.

And home has not disappointed. Since we've been here, Tera has been doing a lot of the same things that Canon liked to do when he was a baby. She sits in her rocker . . .

She loves her swing, which I love as well. I've been able to get at least a few things done while she swings.

Yesterday, I gave her a bath for the first time. I watched her get a bath once in the hospital, and she did great. The same behavior transferred to home. I know she had to be at least a little bit cold, but she just laid there and let me scrub and pour luke warm water all over her.


After her bath we took our first outing to her first doctor's visit.

I wasn't expecting to have one so soon, but I was glad to have someone check her out to make sure she was still doing great. She is! She now weighs 6 pounds 10 ounces, up one ounce from when we left the hospital on Tuesday. The pediatrician says that everything seems fine, and we won't need to come back until her four-month immunizations in mid-July. He did say that I could bring her back if I wanted to make sure she is still gaining weight.

Tera has been spitting up nearly every feed since Wednesday afternoon. It usually happens about two hours after she eats, and it's never very much. Of course, with all of her choking scares in the hospital, I worry that she could choke on this as well. I try to be good about burping her and holding her for awhile after she eats to make sure everything gets down to where it needs to be. By the time she spits up, I've usually already laid her down in her rocker or her bassinet, usually turned slightly to the side, just in case. So far, the spit up hasn't caused any choking problems, and the pediatrician says that it's not a concern for him either. We'll start to worry when she's spitting up half of her milk or when it turns green!

I also asked the pediatrician about supplementing Tera's milk with formula. She'll need to take Similac NeoSure for the first months, until her weight gain is really substantial. Then, we can move on to something different if we need to.

What else do you want to know about Tera at home? She is still eating about 70cc at each bottle. Her nights have been hit or miss since we got home. The first night, I kept with the hospital schedule and woke myself up every three hours to feed her. She seemed to do well with this . . . until the next night. I set my alarms again, and she did great until after her midnight feeding. Sometime in the 2:00 a.m. hour, Tera woke up grunting and crying out. I think I got her to burp before she went back down. She then ate about 3:30. She was up again around 4:00. Sometime around 4:30 I gave her a little more milk, which put her back to sleep. She was up to eat again at 6:00. After feeding her this time, I was completely wiped out. I know you haven't read about it yet, but I have been up A LOT since the night before Tera came home. I've been going on about four or five hours of sleep each day for the last three days, and by 6:30 Thursday morning, I was pooped! We both slept until 8:00 when I got up to get us ready for her doctor's appointment. He told me there that I should probably start feeding her more On Demand than by a schedule. Her pediatrician at UAB had also mentioned feeding her more during her night feeds so that she would sleep longer. I tried this last night and . . . there's a reason these people have medical degrees! Tera slept four hours between each meal, and so did her mother.

What About the Rest of the Family?
Poor Canon is adjusting to so much right now. First, he's getting used to having himself and the rest of us back under the same roof. Then there's the new baby, of course, and having to share his mother's attention with her. He is so loving towards her. He likes to bring her a blanket or try to give her a pacifier (I don't let him do that just yet, but he tries!). When he's home in the afternoons after school, I bring Tera in the den with us while Canon plays with his trains. He'll walk over and check on her every once in awhile, just to see how she is.


As sweet as he is, though, he's also a tyrant. Every little thing can turn into a big dramatic ordeal in no time. Eating dinner, taking a bath, going to bed, putting his toys away, running errands with Barry. All of these can turn my sweet and affectionate son into the Terrible Two that I hope he is not truly turning out to be. Instead, I hope it's just his way of adjusting to life and that this phase, too, shall pass. Barry and I have both been very adamant about not giving in to his outbursts. No matter how loud he screams or how hard he kicks, he eventually does what we set out for him to do.

Barry has been absolutely amazing! He takes Canon to school in the morning and does pretty much whatever I need him to do at night. He took Canon to the grocery store yesterday and has been putting him to bed at night. He cleans up the kitchen, washes clothes (but never folds them!), and takes care of the yard. I would go on and on, but he'll read this one day and wish that I hadn't even said this much.

I have been keeping busy getting my house back in order. It's amazing how much stuff I've accumulated over the last three months, not to mention the abundance of gifts that people have brought to our house here. The Wiregrass Children's Home - an organization Barry has been involved with for a few years now - is having a yard sale to raise money for their house in October, so I'm getting together a large pile of things to donate. Besides just the normal Mommy stuff, like holding and feeding Tera and entertaining Canon at night, that's really all there is. I love being at home!

Departure

Day of Life: 84

I was right about not getting much sleep. Tera is quite the little Noise Maker. She grunts and groans and, on occasion, lets out a seemingly painful cry, I'm assuming from something I ate long, long ago that she is just now getting in her bottles. After feeding her at midnight, I got about an hour's sleep before she started in with her sweet noises. I checked on her a couple of times, just to make sure the noises weren't meaningful, then got maybe another half hour of sleep before it was time to feed her at 3:00. The nurse had offered to do this one for me, but I had to get up to pump anyway, so . . . I got another couple of hours before her 6:00 feed, and then I was up for good. Tera seemed to be as well.

At her weigh in last night, Tera weighed 6 pounds 9 ounces (2980 grams) and is 19 1/2 inches long. It makes me wonder if she would have been this size had she been born full term. Did she gain extra weight because of how much she can eat? Or did she lose extra weight because of all the calories she's been burning on the Outside? Even though Canon weighed exactly one pound more than this and was 1 1/2 inches longer than this when he was born, I can't imagine something as big as this little girl still in my tummy. She's a perfect Going Home size. That is, at least, as long as we can get through the morning with this unpredictable phenom.

Tera's 6:00 feed began the culmination of what I had been fearing the last 24 hours. At the end of her bottle, I laid her down in her crib so that I could start getting ready for our day. Within a minute or two of laying down, Tera choked. Not again! Her oxygen saturation dropped pretty low, but she was able to bring it back on her own with a little bit of coaxing from my hand banging against her back. Her nurse had come back into the room by this point, and I'm pretty sure I heard her mumble "This isn't good" before walking out again. I just knew she was on her way to tell the docs "This one is just not ready." This is why I haven't told many people that we are coming home today.

Feeling defeated, I took a shower then laid down on the couch to wait for the doctors to come give me the news that we wouldn't be going home today. A Nurse Practioner was covering for Tera's pediatrician today, and she came in all cheery and smiling, probably to soften me up for what she was surely going to say. She did the usual morning examination, then asked if I had any questions about anything. When she didn't mention anything about Tera's choking spell earlier, I decided to be the honest parent and speak up. Her only response was to question whether or not Tera needed extra oxygen to bring herself out of it. When I told her that Tera didn't, she said that was great. She'd be back in a bit with the Neonatologist.

Barry came by about 9:00, just in time to watch Tera have yet another choking spell. This time, things went just the slightest bit worse. At one point, the nurse encouraged me to step aside so that she could try to get Tera to cough it up. She basically held her upside down under her belly, then continued to pat her back roughly. After dipping two or three times into the 50s, Tera finally brought herself back out of the spell. That had to be it. Surely they wouldn't let us go home now? The nurse simply said "Don't scare your Mama like that, Tera" then left to get our discharge papers ready. I half expected Barry to jump in and say "Uh, you're not sending us home with this, are you?" but he didn't seem too bothered. I told him it must be that instead of a baby with heart problems or breathing problems, we're taking home a baby with choking problems. A few more days at the hospital probably isn't going to get rid of that, and we are both so ready to go home.

While Barry took the last of our things down to the car, the nurse came in to give us the Discharge Talk. It included all the things that every parent should know - don't shake the baby, check the baby's temperature, etc. She also gave us Tera's Discharge Summary. This will go to Tera's pediatrician, and we will keep one with us at all times. It will give any physician that sees Tera her medical history at UAB. I read through this later in the day, and it is very interesting. It tells every tiny little thing that has happened to Tera in her first 84 days of life.

I especially liked reading what happened to Tera while she was at Flowers the night she was born. I have been completely oblivious about her adventures that night. Apparently, Tera required PPV (which I think stands for Positive Pressure Ventilation - someone had to pump oxygen into her lungs) for about one minute after being born. She was then able to breathe on her own with the aid of blow by oxygen. Her oxygen saturation was in the 90s for a little while, but when she began to desat into the 60s and 70s, they decided to intubate and put her on a ventilator. Flowers also placed her UAC and UVC lines. These were used to draw blood and inject meds into her those first few days at UAB. They bragged there that Flowers did an amazing job taking care of Tera. UAB just had to keep doing what Flowers had already started.

What will continue to effect Tera for the next two or three years is her BPD. I may have mentioned this several weeks ago, but I've learned more about it since then. BPD stands for Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia. Basically, Tera has premature lungs that are scarred from her being on a ventilator and then in the Oxygenated Environment for several weeks. The doctors say that her premature lungs are covered in scar tissue which just makes all things related to oxygen a little more difficult for her. She has already begun developing her regular lungs and, as time goes by, her premature lungs will diminish and her regular lungs will take over. This process could take up to two or three years (maybe longer?) to complete. Until then, we have to be careful of exposing her to too many germs and diseases. A cold for Tera could be far more severe than a cold for a full-term baby without BPD. Because of her low birth weight, Tera will qualify for the RSV vaccination, which she will get this Fall. Tera received a dose of Surfactant at Flowers and another dose at UAB to help make her lungs as strong as possible in those early days. After being on the ventilator for only seven days, I'd say their efforts proved fruitful. Some babies stay on the vent for weeks or months.

When all had been reviewed and everything was finally in the car, it was time for us to leave. MyGoo had made Tera a beautiful gown to wear home, so I quickly changed her into it so as not to hold up our departure any longer.





Thankfully, this dress will fit for weeks to come, so we'll get more than just this one use out of it.

While Barry moved the car around, I accompanied Tera and her nurse downstairs. We passed several nurses who wished us well. Though I haven't met all of them, many have been into Tera's room to "save" her at various times. She has become somewhat of a celebrity after 12 weeks here.

When we got close to the doors leading outside, we could feel the cool wind coming down the hall. Who would ever expect it to be in the 60s in mid-May? Come to think of it, I think it was an unusually warm day in February when Tera was born. This chick has some effect on the weather! The nurse bundled Tera up tightly while we waited to go outside.

When I finally put Tera in her car seat, she seemed more uncomfortable than I remember her being during her Car Seat Test last Friday. I asked the nurse for reassurance, and she seemed to think all was fine. I gave the nurse a quick hug, and then we were finally off about 11:00.

I have to say that leaving the hospital was a little anticlimatic. I didn't have the jitters I expected. I didn't feel like crying, though this is something I would normally do. None of Tera's usual nurses were here today, so I wasn't able to see them to say good-bye for the last time. I didn't need to take one last look at Tera's room before walking out. Even after everything Tera had put me through earlier this morning, I was just ready to go. I've been watching Tera to see what she is made of, and now I want to see what I'm made of. I don't know if that is strange or arrogant or possibly normal. But it's the truth.

We stopped once in Prattville so that I could take Tera out of her car seat to feed her. No choking! Barry went in to get us lunch, then we were on the road again. We arrived in Dothan about 3:00. I waited until we were safely in the house before sending a message to my friends that we were finally home. Most did not even know we were expecting to come home today.

The original plan was for Canon to stay with MyGoo and Doc this first night we were at home. After talking with MyGoo about how Canon was, it seemed pretty obvious to both of us that he was ready to come home. It's hard to explain. He wasn't behaving badly. MyGoo could just tell that Canon wasn't acting like himself, and we both agreed he needed his Mom and Daddy. Barry and Ed drove to Troy to meet MyGoo, Doc, and Canon to bring both Canon and Barry's car back home.

I could tell we had made the right decision as soon as Canon walked in the door. He was so excited to be home. He ran around the entire house, squealing with excitement and jumping on everything in sight. When he realized Tera was here, he immediately wanted to bring her a "B." This is what Canon calls his blanket. We went to Tera's room and found the pink blanket that is just like Canon's blue one. He took the blanket to her bassinet in our room where Tera was asleep and tried to put it in the bed with her. Of course, Barry and I freaked out about his germs that were now all over the blanket and opted instead to drape the blanket over the end of the bassinet. When Canon seemed pleased, he moved on to another form of entertainment.

It was already after 9:00 when Canon got home, so we put him in bed pretty soon after. I finally got to see Barry's magic at work - getting Canon to sleep in his Big Brother Bed with minimal crying. I realized that there is absolutely no way that either of us could have done this alone. I don't know how anyone could.

After I've had time for all of this to really sink in, I'm sure I'll have more insightful things to say to conclude this little adventure. But right now, just as it did at the very beginning, everything just seems to be the way it should be. At home, there is no drama, no fluff, and no exagerrations. It's just the four of us finally under the same roof. Three months ago, I was terrified to have this baby under my sole care, and today I couldn't imagine it any other way. The beeps and dings of the monitors that provided me so much comfort at the hospital are not missed at all. In fact, I actually like not knowing every little detail of what is going on with Tera's heart and lungs. Without the numbers to look at, I feel more like her mother and less like her caretaker. It's what I've been waiting for.

Final Preparations

Day of Life: 83

Today was much like yesterday. More resting for Tera. More packing for me. Tera gained only a few grams last night, still at 6 pounds 7 ounces (2940 grams). I can't believe I'll be taking home such a big baby. I was so worried three months ago that she would be less than 5 pounds when we came home. I didn't know how I would hold her or, honestly, if I would even want to hold her. It's hard to cradle a baby that small. But here I am with a 6 1/2 pound baby - a real Chunker on this floor!

I am determined to keep her warm today. That means two blankets, two hats, two of everything if needed. Low body temperature is not keeping this baby in the hospital an extra day. I just hope it doesn't backfire, and she ends up with a fever.

I spent the morning packing up Tera's room. There was so much stuff, from clothes and blankets to snacks and memorabilia from our stay here. We've lived in four different rooms since we've been at UAB, so I've gotten pretty good at packing it up efficiently. I've also kept a lot of the boxes and bags that we've gotten over the weeks, which made things much easier.

I also held Tera and tried to record as many funny faces as possible. She's got lots of them!

Tera's pediatrician came by for one last visit. She will not be at the hospital tomorrow, and she wanted to make sure we still felt comfortable leaving tomorrow. Yes! She had given me her cell phone number weeks ago, and she reminded me to call her with anything I needed. I know she means it. She has every confidence that I really can handle all of this at home, and she knows that Tera is in great condition to leave. She suggested that I spend tonight at the hospital so that I can once again give Tera her night time feedings. This way, I will know if things aren't quite right when we get home because I would have fed her during all times of the day. I was fine with that, though not looking forward to sleeping on the plastic couch again. After a big hug from the pediatrician, she was gone for the day.

Just before lunch, our minister, Hays, and his son, Trey, came by to visit. They drove all the way from Dothan just to see us - or so they said! I warned them that we might be home soon and that they didn't have to waste the gas, but they insisted. Hays has been checking in with me regularly since we got here, and he wanted to see in person how great she was doing. He and Trey both agreed that she looked great. I think it's hard for everyone to believe how "normal" she looks. I hate to use that word - normal - but the night Tera was born, I was half expecting an alien to be pulled from my womb. But she wasn't, and everyday she has looked more and more like the baby I had been hoping she would look like.

I've been trying not to tell too many people that we're planning to come home tomorrow. I don't want to have to go back and report a False Alarm again. I did end up telling Hays and Trey today what our plans were, however, and I told Hays that if Tera really does come home tomorrow, I'll tell everyone that he healed her. He liked that idea.

After more packing, Lydia came by for one last visit with Tera. I know she is ready to have her normal life back at her house, but I know she will also miss us terribly. Thankfully, Lydia will go back to work on Wednesday for the first time since her knee surgery. I'm sure this will be a good distraction, at least until she can come down to see us when we give the go ahead for weekend visitors!

Lydia and I went back to her house so that I could finish packing the last of my things there. The "last of my things" ended up being about a dozen bags and boxes full of more and more junk. Barry's going to love this when he gets here tonight! About 8:30, Lydia took me back to the hospital for the last time. Barry came by about 10:00 when he got into town, just to say hey before going back to Lydia's to get a good night's rest. Don't I need that?! I ended up staying awake until Tera's midnight feeding. I have a feeling that I won't be getting much sleep tonight! Or tomorrow night. Or several month's worth of nights after that.

I've prayed diligently all day that this really is it. I feel ready to go this time. My only anxiety is over whether or not something will happen to her in the next 12 hours that will keep us here longer. I'm grateful beyond words for everything that has been done for her, but I'm ready to put my old and new knowledge about taking care of babies into practice. I can do this!

New Plans

Day of Life: 82

We made it to the hospital a few minutes after 7:00 this morning, but the doctors had already come around. Tera's pediatrician was so nice to come back around (again!) to talk to us about what happened yesterday. She was not in the least bit worried. Tera's labs had all come back clear, and she still looked great. She had gotten in some good rest yesterday and seemed to be doing much better today. She even gained some weight last night, up to 6 pounds 7 ounces. The doctor said we can go home tomorrow if we are ready.

After talking it out and planning logistics, we decided that Tuesday would actually work better for us. Barry would take Canon to MyGoo and Docs tonight, and we would get him back later in the week when we got home. Barry would then go on to Dothan to reschedule his Tuesday meetings and appointments then come back to Birmingham Monday night.

We left then to return to Lydia's. I packed up a car full of my stuff for Barry to go ahead and return to Dothan. After another quick visit to the hospital, I gave Barry the car for his ride South.

Tera's favorite nurse was with her for the last time today, and she was happy that I couldn't stay all day to feed and hold her. She wanted to get some good Tera time in before we went home.

After Barry and Canon left, Lydia and I went to a movie - my last in awhile, I imagine. We went to see "Bridesmaids," and it is hilarious if you get the chance to see it this summer. I went to bed soon after returning to Lydia's. She will be taking me to the hospital in the morning on her way to Physical Therapy, so I need to be up early. Pray nothing else happens between now and Tuesday morning.

Expect the Unexpected

Day of Life: 81

Lydia, Nonna, and Poppa took turns watching Canon this morning so that Barry and I could get to the hospital extra early. We arrived a little before 7:00 and waited for Tera's pediatrician to come by to talk to us. The doctors had already made rounds, but she knew that Barry and I had some questions before we are discharged tomorrow. Tera weighs 6 pounds 5 ounces (2890 grams) and is still eating about 60cc at each feed.

When the pediatrician got back to our room, Barry asked her things that we needed to be looking out for, especially related to her eyes and her muscular development. She stayed and talked to us for a long time, making sure that we were comfortable with everything that we needed to know for living with Tera at home. I have a mix of emotions about taking her home. Of course, I am thrilled about the idea of just being back at my own house and having her there with me, but part of me is still a little anxious about it all. What do I do if she needs extra oxygen? What do I do if she chokes? I'm hoping it will all just come to me. The nurses and doctors have confidence in us, so I guess I should, too.

The pediatrician left a little before 9:00. Tera had a new nurse today. She was one that I had seen a lot and heard other nurses mention, but we'd never had her all to ourselves before. While I pumped, the nurse fed Tera her 9:30 bottle. She took the bottle great until the very end. She choked which, as you know, is not uncommon. The nurse got her to cough it up on her own, and she continued to hold her and pat her back for some time, just to make sure all of her burps were out. After she laid Tera back in her bed and turned around, Tera choked again. This time, she did not come out of it so easily. The nurse patted her back again trying to get her to cough it up. She just wouldn't do it. We could even see that Tera would stop breathing on occasion. The nurse would pinch her foot to wake her back up. Tera cried but still wouldn't come back to normal. Her oxygen saturation was really low, and the nurse eventually decided to give her blow by saying, "She can't go home like this."

As if that wasn't bad enough, she did it again not five minutes later. The nurse repeated the same process - more blow by, more pinching feet, more crying - before finally laying her back down. Then, her heart rate dropped all on its own, for no apparent reason. We definitely won't be going home tomorrow.

The nurse called the pediatrician to tell her what was going on. She suggested that they do a work-up to see if Tera could be developing an infection. I was nearly in tears. Of course, I was disappointed that we would obviously be in the hospital a while longer, but I was more upset about Tera's behavior. She's never choked while laying down, and her heart rate only drops when she's either choking or going to the bathroom. I was convinced that Tera had contracted some kind of infection, and the worst possible scenarios came to mind. I was also worried that this whole incident would scare Barry so badly that we would never be able to come home. He surprised me by staying completely calm and not worrying a bit.

When the nurses came in to draw blood and urine for the labs, Barry and I decided to leave. The last work-up Tera had involved a lumbar puncture, and I wasn't interested in sticking around for that. Luckily, she didn't end up needing one.

Barry and I got some breakfast and went back to Lydia's. Barry made me promise to take a nap before he would take me back to the hospital (we only have one car, remember?).

I learned once I got there that all of Tera's labs had come back negative (or positive, if you're an optimist). Everything seemed fine. Her pediatrician remembered that Tera had gotten her Prevnar vaccine yesterday, and we chalked everything up to that. She just wasn't responding as well as we had hoped.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty laid back for Tera. Her pediatrician had given an order to tube feed her if she wasn't taking her bottles well for the rest of the afternoon. I was fine with this. We know that Tera can take a bottle well, so feeding her through a tube won't be a setback. If anything, it will give her extra time to rest and recoup from her episode this morning. The pediatrician called in to check on her a couple of times, but we didn't have any word on our next possible Discharge date. Tomorrow is definitely out of the question, but we're not sure if it will be a couple of days or a couple of weeks.

Barry and Canon picked me up about 5:45 to go to dinner with Bob, Jamie, Eleanor, Caroline, and Alicia. Eleanor is one of Canon's favorite friends, and we always love watching them play together. You know that Canon is a bit aggressive, but Eleanor is so sweet and easy-going. She just wants to do whatever Canon wants to do. Tonight, that meant playing in the fountain . . .

. . . hugging . . .

. . . and torturing Eleanor's baby sister, Caroline.


After dinner, we went back to Lydia's. We'll be back at the hospital bright and early in the morning to see what our next Plan of Action will be.

Not Your Typical Friday the 13th

Day of Life: 80

When I arrived at the hospital this morning, I saw that Tera's nurse had been having some fun through the night. She made this hat for Tera.

She's rockin' the big bow!

I arrived fairly early. Early enough to see Tera's pediatrician when she came around to check on her babies. She had been out since Monday, but before she left, she had encouraged me to hold out on the crib for a few extra days. When she came in this morning, I assured her that I held off the Neonatologist as long as he would let me. She laughed and said I had done a good job, then did her morning exam on Tera. Her temperature was still good, and she had eaten well through the night. The pediatrician started talking to me about the phone calls I would need to make on Monday. I would need to call the Pediatric Ophthamologist in Dothan to schedule her next follow-up eye exam. UAB would make all of my well-baby check-ups for me, and I would have to come back to Birmingham for a cardiology follow-up to check on her PDA.

Wait a minute! Why is she telling me all of this?

I asked, "Are we going home?" "Not today, but if all goes well, she can be discharged tomorrow."

I know they have been preparing us for about a month that this day was coming up soon, but it still seemed completely out of the blue. My stomach was in tiny knots, but I wasn't quite as scared as I thought I would be when this moment arrived. The doctor kept telling me things I need to know when I get home. I'm not sure if I can remember them all now, but they'll come to me when I need them. I'll need to check Tera's feet to see how cool or warm she is and not depend solely on the thermometer. I'm not supposed to go to church, the mall, or the grocery store for at least six weeks. We're also not supposed to have visitors come into our house for that long. She'll have two rounds of the RSV vaccination in the Fall - the first in early October, the second in early November. She'll continue to have her eyes checked until her vessels are mature, and she'll have cardiology appointments until her PDA closes or until it starts causing problems for her. I'm sure there's more that will come to me later.

The doctor left after that but came back by with the Neonatologist during Rounds later in the morning. He is adamant about keeping her temperature high. The first thing he says is to keep two hats on her. Check!

He also said that we would need to keep the thermostat set high at home. Check! Barry likes it to stay warm in the house anyway. After hearing Tera's report and checking her out, he agreed that we were ok to go home tomorrow.

I called Barry to give him the news. While he is very excited that Tera is doing so well, he wanted to talk to the pediatrician and ask her everything he could think of to assure himself that she really is ready. We made a plan to talk to the pediatrician first thing Saturday morning and also requested that we be discharged Sunday instead. That would give us time to figure out what to do with Canon and time to get some last minute things that we need for Tera at the house.

I waited until the doctors left to play dress-up for today. I didn't want her to have been unwrapped right before they came in.

Nonna and Poppa came by after lunch to check on Tera and hold her one last time (hopefully) before she goes home.

Then, it was time to start making plans. I left the hospital, much to the nurse's delight. She was eager to get to hold and feed Tera without my interruptions! I packed up a few things at Lydia's
and went to Babies R' Us to get the necessities - diapers, wipes, q-tips, hats, socks, etc. The plan for the night was for me to drive to Prattville to meet my parents, Barry, and Canon. My parents will take our second car back to Greenville with them so that we will only have one car to bring Tera home in. Canon will be staying with Nonna and Poppa for the week, and Barry will come back up to Birmingham next weekend to get him. He's still having some bad diapers, and while I'm almost positive it's because he's cutting teeth, we don't want to take any chances.

I came back to the hospital for an hour or so to see Tera before driving to Prattville. She had gotten her fifth and final immunization, Prevnar, while I was gone. This shot isn't supposed to effect her in the least. When I got to her room, this is how I found her:

I have been nervous about her riding in a car seat, especially for this three-hour drive home. Her nurse today had me bring her car seat inside, and she set her in it while she was still hooked up to the monitors so that we could see how she would handle it.

She did great! She doesn't have the floppy head issue that Canon always did - and still does at times. He gets so relaxed when he sleeps that his head falls down into his lap. I was so worried that Tera would have this same issue, but she doesn't seem to after today's Car Seat Test.

I left her then to go meet Barry, Canon, and my parents. Amelia and Ceil were with them, and we all enjoyed a big dinner together at Jim N Nick's. Barry and Canon were the last to arrive at the restaurant, and Canon immediately wanted me to hold him. He even laid his head on my shoulder for a few minutes. I, of course, loved it!

After saying good-bye to my parents (not sure when I'll see them again if we have to stay couped up inside with no visitors), Barry, Canon, and I piled into our family vehicle and headed north (possibly) for the last time for a long time.

UAB Productions Presents . . . Preemie Cribs

Day of Life: 79

I'll write more later, but I couldn't wait to tell you that . . . Tera's in a crib!


She doesn't look quite as tiny as I was expecting her to, but she's still a little peanut!



When the doctors came around this morning, her Neonatologist gave me a very enthusiastic "I told you so!" greeting. Tera had held her temperature very well through the night. She had choked on her first feed but had done very well on the other three. The doctors said that we just need to make sure she can continue to hold her temperature in the crib and get her feeding under control, then she'll be ready to go home. This could take a couple of days or a couple of weeks. As usual, there is no telling.

In other news, Tera made great gains last night and now weighs 6 pounds 3 ounces (2815 grams). She's still allowed to take as much milk as she wants, but she's doing good with 60cc (2 ounces) right now, so we're sticking with that. Check back in later for more news from the Crib!

Later Today
The majority of the excitement of The Crib is that the mom (me) can pick up the baby (Tera) without first getting permission from a nurse. I can just walk in, wash my hands, and sweep her into my arms without any glass boxes or porthole doors to barge through. The other part of the crib excitement is getting to play dress-up. Now that she's out in the open, she's got to stay warm. This means a dress, a hat, and a tightly wrapped blanket. If she can't stay warm, then she's got to go back into the Isolette until she can prove herself again. I've been looking forward to both of these things for weeks, and now the day is finally here!

Not to take away from the excitement of the crib, because it is still oh! so exciting. But, in truth, it did turn out to be slightly anti-climatic. One of my most and least favorite characteristics is that I try to think long-term as often as possible. This can be a good thing in some situations, like when I'm arguing with Barry and choose not to say what's really on my mind because it will surely lead to discussions much worse than than the one we might find ourselves in at that particular moment. It can also be not to so good, like when I have a new baby and I choose not to rock her to sleep because then she'll depend on me to rock her to sleep forever. This was my situation today. Should I hold her just because I can? Or should I go ahead and start practicing the parenting strategies that I will use to help mold her baby behavior.

I know, at this point, many of you are screaming at your computer - JUST PICK UP THE BABY ALREADY! And don't worry, I did. I just wanted to share that, even after all this time of watching my daughter through a sheet of glass - wanting to hold her whenever I wanted to - there is still that old neurotic part of me that has a hard time neglecting the thought that every little action effects some future outcome. Stupid Psychology degree!

What was actually disappointing about Tera's first day in the crib was that she had her follow-up eye exam again today, and you know I don't like to be around for those. I thought that she only had to have one follow-up, but I was mistaken. She has to have one every two weeks until the vessels around her retina mature. She was actually scheduled to have it last week, but because of her bloody diaper/IV incident, we decided to hold off so as not to cause her any more excitement for that day. So, I spent most of this afternoon away from the hospital. I found out when I returned that her vessels are "maturing" so that is a good sign.

The second slight disappointment about today is that even though I can dress Tera up in as many outfits as I want, it's really best to keep her wrapped up as much as possible. This is one of those situations where my long-term planning is going to pay off. If I can hold off on pretending that she's my childhood baby doll, she'll stay warm enough to be able to play later. I'm just interested to see if she can still wear a lot of her preemie clothes. Most preemie clothes seem to say "Up to 5 lbs," and she passed that mark awhile ago. This one still fits!

I know I'm making it sound like this day was really a disappointment, but I assure you, it wasn't. Tera going to a crib means so much more than holding her or dressing her up. It means that her doctors think she is strong enough to maintain her same level of health out in the open. I like to call it "exposing her to the elements." We've been sheltering her as much and as long as we can. Now, once again, we're going to see what she's made of.

What About Barry and Canon?
Canon stayed home again today with Brittney. After a late night last night, Barry didn't want to get him up early for school. One thing about Canon is that he is fairly dependent on sleep. He always has been. He sleeps ten or eleven hours at night and can take up to a three hour afternoon nap on a good day. It makes our lives much easier this way! Barry tried to get Canon to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. He's going back to school tomorrow for the first time since his nasty diapers earlier this week. They'll both come up for their usual weekend visit tomorrow. I really thought last weekend was going to be the last one. Maybe this one will be it . . .