Yesterday, I got in a three-hour pattern of feed Tera, hold Tera, pump, do something for an hour. Repeat. Since there is not a whole lot one can do in Birmingham in an hour (it would take that long just to drive somewhere and back, leaving no time to actually do anything), I spent that hour on my computer or going to get a snack in the other building. I didn't realize it until I left this afternoon, but I was at the hospital from 10:00 that morning until 7:30 last night. Today, I decided to go ahead and do some things before I went to the hospital so that I wouldn't get caught in my repeating pattern again.
I woke up earlier than usual, so I went for a run. A very short and very slow run. My expectations for my physical well-being were very high when this process first started. I thought that I would have so much time to exercise and get into better shape than I was, maybe even pre-Canon. It hasn't been quite as easy as I thought it would, and I'm usually pretty proud of myself if I get in two decent work-outs in a week. This was my second for the week (even though I don't think I would count the first one as "decent"). After my run and then a shower, Lydia and I went to the mall to do some Easter shopping. You can ask anybody (except Barry) and they will tell you that I am pretty low-key when it comes to holiday gifts for kids, especially mine. But, I did want to do something for both of my children for this Easter.
Easter might be my favorite holiday. I love the Easter story and the meaning of it all. I love going to a packed out church service. I love eating Cadbury Eggs and potluck lunches. I love seeing everybody in their best clothes. It's such a celebration! I digress. So, Lydia and I went shopping for Easter basket trimmings. Canon was easy - Thomas! I got him a new Percy engine and a couple of track pieces to add to what he got for Christmas. Canon doesn't really like candy, but he has recently started eating Skittles, so I also decided to add those to the mix. For Tera, I wanted to do something, but I knew that it had to be practical. Earlier this week, one of the nurses told me that some preemie moms go to Build-A-Bear to buy clothes for their babies while their in the hospital. They're just the right size, and there's a hole in the back of the pants that you can run all of their cords and wires through. Moms would apparently buy some of these clothes, along with some bunny ears (also at Build-A-Bear) to take Easter pictures. Lydia and I just had to go in and check it out. The nurse was right. There are tons of outfits for these bears! Everything from wedding dresses and tuxedos to sundresses and boardshorts. Denim skirts, bedazzled leggings, a fireman's uniform.
Don't worry, we didn't get this one. I almost bought Tera some scrubs but decided against it. I did buy her a tiny pink ruffled skirt and a sundress. Neither have holes in the butt (which was something I was very glad about). In the end, Tera didn't get anything at the mall, but I've still got some ideas for a cute basket for her.
We made it home in time for lunch, then I was off to the hospital. I don't think I mentioned this yesterday, but when the doctors made Rounds yesterday, the Neonatologist listened to Tera's report then said (without me asking, by the way) that it would be "just a couple of weeks, I think." Yay! Of course, I can't and won't hold him to that, but it's a good feeling to know that Tera is doing so well that she could possibly be completely healthy in just a few more days.
Do you remember that weight loss that I was worried about last night that didn't happen? Well, it happened today, but thankfully, on a very small scale. Tera lost only 6 grams (2190), so she is still at the 4 pounds 13 ounces mark. I was happy, and a little surprised, that it wasn't any more than that. The doctors also increased her feeds to 38cc, so maybe that will help her not to lose any more weight.
I arrived in time to give Tera her 2:30 bottle. She's still a little weary from past days, but she did a good job with it. We've decided to quit trying to give her a bottle every time and just give her one when she is alert or acts interested. It's still a little disheartening when she won't eat the whole thing, but I'm working really hard at being patient about it. It's just like Tera to take a major leap forward, then hang out there to get used to this new place before continuing in that same direction. She'll get it when she gets it.
I still love to get her out and hold her, even if she won't drink the bottle. If you're still not convinced she looks like Barry, maybe these will help.
Even though she is HUGE compared to just a few weeks ago, she is still a Peanut of a baby. It's awkward to cradle her, so I usually either hold her as these pictures show (out in front of me) or against my chest. When I cradle her, I feel as if she might fall right through my arm and crash to the floor, like a cartoon. I looked back at her records and saw that in the last month, she's gained about one pound every two weeks. At this rate, she could be close to 6 pounds by the time we come home!
The nurse told me today that someone from the Nutrition Room had approached her and asked if she could tell me that I need to take some of my milk home. They are running out of room in the freezer. I am both excited and embarrassed at the same time. Proud that I'll have plenty to keep Tera going for the next several weeks, but embarrassed that I didn't think to do this before. Barry has been coming to Birmingham every weekend and could easily have taken a cooler-full home each time. When Tera first got to Birmingham, there was a Pump-Pump-Pump mentality (like a Hip Hop song, really) so that she would have plenty of milk to get her through her stay here. It's been my job really. I spend hours each day and night doing it, and I plan all other events around it. Any soft surface - usually a couch or a bed - acts as my office, and the Nutrition Room is like the wharehouse. I pump, then immediately turn it in to the Nutrition Room because that's just what you do. Even the last time I went home, I took all of the milk that I had from those two days back to Birmingham to give to them so that they could have it on hand. What an idiot! I knew Tera had more than enough milk, but it never occurred to me that they don't want to keep all of it in their freezer. I hope I have learned an important lesson for any future preemie mothers reading this.
Now back to Tera. She has started this thing of falling asleep soon after she eats (or while she eats, if it's going through her tube), then waking up about an hour later and looking around curiously. Tonight, after she ate at 5:30, I put her back in her bed to sleep. Just as I was getting ready to walk out the door, I found this pitiful creature:
I know she's not, but she looks scared to me. Her eyes are opened so wide, and with her hand up to her mouth like that . . . it's like she knows I'm going home tomorrow. I knew I didn't need to stay at the hospital any longer. It was getting dark and I am under strict orders from Barry and both sets of parents that I am not allowed to walk to my car alone after dark. (I've only broken that rule a couple of times, and I called someone to talk to me while I walked both times). But I just couldn't leave her like that. I got her pacifier and gave it to her.
She loved it! Now, if we can just get her to work that hard on her bottles . . .
When I went to tell her nurse that I was leaving, she was giving her report to Tera's night nurse. I was so excited to see that it is one of our favorite nurses, whom I haven't seen in weeks because, since Canon has been here, I haven't been at the hospital at night. I gave her a big hug, and she assured me she would take good care of Tera. When I went back to say one last good-bye to Tera, she was upset because her pacifier had fallen out of her mouth and she couldn't figure out how to get it back. I gave it back to her, then left quickly so I wouldn't have to see her struggle for it again. The nurse would be in there very shortly to get her ready for her 8:30 dinner, so I wasn't too worried about it.
Because I wasn't able to find Tera anything at the mall, I stopped at WalMart to get what I needed for her basket. AAAAHHHHH! WalMart! It's Earth's very own Black Hole. It sucks you in, and when you're finally able to drag yourself out, you look and feel like you've been in a whirlpool for the last three hours, which is how long it takes you to get anything in WalMart. But I toughed it out for my Baby Girl, then went home and enlisted Lydia to help me fill eggs with candy. You'll have to see the basket tomorrow, after I give it to her.
What About Barry and Canon?
Canon spent another eventful day with MyGoo and Doc and a fun night with his cousins, Amelia and Ceil. The only real drama of the day was when Canon got one of his battery-operated trains stuck in his hair. I can only imagined what kind of ruckus that aroused. Doc described it as a "minor meltdown." Barry is busy at home getting everything ready for our visit tomorrow. He is so so excited about Canon and I coming home this weekend. That makes ALL of us!
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