The Photo Shoot

Day of Life: 57

Canon and I got an earlier start this morning, and I was at the hospital before 10:00. Tera was waiting for me.

She only gained five grams last night, but it was enough to bump her up to the next ounce, 4 pounds 12 ounces. I also remembered to check her length (it was taken Monday night), and she is 44.5 centimeters, which is about 17.5 inches long. She is still on 21% oxygen. The Nurse Practioner came to check on her soon after I arrived. Tera is still de-satting quite a bit, so the NP said it would be a couple of days before she makes it to a crib. Everything else is in place for her to be there. She is holding her temperature, and she's taking most of her meals via a bottle. She took 5 bottles (out of 8 total feeds) yesterday and did great with all of them.

I took a chance this morning and asked the NP if she could possibly offer a prediction as to when Tera might be ready to go home. I know there are still some things that can't be predicted (like how long she will need to stay in the Isolette), but I just had to ask. The NP said it could be as soon as two to three weeks. Mid-May is her official prediction, but of course, no commitments. It's really all about how well she can maintain her oxygen saturation (quit de-satting) and how well she can take all of her meals through a bottle. Once everything has fallen into place, she will go through a five-day countdown. During these five days, she is not allowed to have any bradies or any apnea spells. If she has either, the countdown starts over.

I also talked to the NP about my anxiety about her being in a carseat. Though there is no "carseat test" at UAB, she suggested that I bring the carseat to the hospital at some point during the countdown, and we can do our own test. We'll just strap her in and see how well she holds her sats while sitting in it. One reason I am so worried actually has to do with Canon. When he was an infant (and even now at times) his head always slumped forward or to his shoulder when he fell asleep. It looked really painful, but he didn't seem to mind. With preemies, head position is a huge deal. If Tera's head is tilted too far forward or too far back, it makes it much more difficult for air to flow smoothly to and from her lungs. Any extra work causes her more stress than a full-term baby. Of course, as she gets a little older, she'll be just like them, and this won't be a big deal. But for now, it's my biggest concern. So, before we load up to move back to Dothan, she will have to pass a carseat test for me.

When she left, the nurse got Tera our for a Kangaroo hold. I read from "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children," which I just recently got back out after a couple of weeks packed away in my bag. We read about praying for our children's management of time and money. This chapter actually made me a little emotional. Money is such a big issue, even to young children. Many children tend to, even at very young ages, either hoard their money or spend it frivolously, and it's important that we teach them good management skills. The author told of a five-year-old boy who was working with his Vacation Bible School class to raise money to send some Dominican children to a mission school. By the end of the week, the class had not raised as much money as they needed, so after much consideration, the little boy emptied his piggy bank and gave the whole amount to the cause. The next day, the class learned that they had raised enough money to send twice as many children to the school as they had originally planned. Though it was a difficult decision to get rid of all of his money, the boy was ecstatic about what his contribution had helped accomplish. Later that same day, a neighbor came by to pay the boy for a chore he had done for her several weeks before. She paid him twice the amount that he had just given to the church that morning.

This story reminded me so much of what it means to tithe and how difficult it can be. The lesson behind tithing is that all that you have is a gift from God. You tithe to your church to show gratitude for what God has given you. God finds pleasure when we give in this way, and he rewards us for it. He does not always reward us like he did with this little boy (with double the cash), but he gives back in whatever way is needed to show his love for us. A few years ago, our minister gave a great example of how to teach tithing to our children. He told the story of a father who consistently took food from his son. When he bought his son fries, he would eat a few before giving the rest to his son. The same happened with candy. If he bought the child a bag of M&M's, he took a few out for himself first, then passed the bag on. When Hayes told us this, I was mortified at the man. How horrible to steal your child's favorite things. His point was soon made clear. The father had provided these goods for his child; they never belonged to the little boy. Giving the first helping of his snacks back to his father was a way to show recognition of this very fact. The boy knew that his father loved him and would take care of him, and he was able to show appreciation for this by giving back to him. Hayes tells this story much more eloquently, but hopefully I hit the high points.

Money is one of those things in life that can make life especially wonderful or especially devastating. My prayer is that Barry and I not only teach our children appropriate ways to manage money, but that we teach these lessons through our actions. Our prayer tonight is this: "Don't let Canon and Tera be arrogant or put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but let them put their hope in you. Let them enjoy all that you have provided for them, and cause them to be rich in good deeds, being generous and always willing to share. Let Canon and Tera lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they can take hold of the life that is truly life." 1 Timothy 6:17-19

Nonna and Lydia came by for a visit just as we were getting Tera ready to eat. They got to see her take her bottle.

I have to say that I thought I was doing a really good job of positioning Tera during her bottles, but this picture shows me doing some things wrong. First of all, her head shouldn't be tilted to the side but instead should be inline with her spine. I also like to hold her more on her side, but it seems that I have her laying on her back. It's difficult to tell from this picture, but she is not laying flat on her back. I have her body tilted up, so I did do at least one thing right. Live and learn! Tera only took half of this bottle before falling fast asleep, so the nurse put the rest through her feeding tube.

Nonna has made Tera a beautiful day gown, and she brought it to her today.

The nurse and I had already discussed playing dress-up with Tera today so that I could take some more Easter pictures. It was perfect timing that Nonna brought this dress to us today.

Nonna and Lydia weren't able to stay for the pictures, but MyGoo made it into town for her weekly visit just in time. In order to get the best shots possible, the nurse rolled in an open bed that we would lay Tera on. Several nurses peaked their heads in to check and make sure Tera was ok. Apparently, this bed is used when babies are extremely sick and multiple doctors and nurses need to be able to access them (hence the reason for it being "open" with pop-up sides and no top). We assured them that Tera was better than fine, and that we were just using it for our photo shoot.

Because Tera is holding her oxygen so well (despite the de-sats), the nurse was able to take her completely off her monitors, and she pulled her feeding tube out. For the first time since she was born, I saw my child completely unattached. I wish I had taken a picture of her in just her diaper. Hindsight . . .

These are a few of my favorite pictures.

Yesterday, I took an Easter basket full of candy and cookies for the nurses. It was almost gone this morning. The nurse cleaned out the rest of it and got it ready for Tera to sit in. She has obviously done this before.

And, of course, I had to hold her for a few more minutes before hooking her back up.

Just a little bit longer . . .

MyGoo and I left after this to pick up Canon. He is going to spend the rest of the week with MyGoo and Doc so that I can be more available to feed Tera (and just to have a short break). I will pick him up on my way home on Saturday. I warned MyGoo that Canon had recently had some rough nights with Lydia and me. When I talked to her later tonight to check in on him, she bragged on how wonderful he has been. Nonna and Poppa always say the same when he visits them. Of course! I guess I'd much rather him give me the fits than his grandparents. Otherwise, who would give Barry and me so many amazing breaks!

I went back to the hospital to give Tera one more bottle for the day - she's taken four in a row now. Halfway through this one, she fell asleep again. The nurse suggested that I unwrap her to feed her since she is able to hold her body temperature better. We kept the blanket wrapped around her, but she wasn't so tightly swaddled. After she ate, I held her against my chest for about an hour. I love Kangaroo Care, but sometimes holding her bundled up like that is so much more fulfilling. Today I considered the idea that, when we do make it home, it's going to be so much harder to put her down. I'll be in familiar territory with all of my usual comforts. There will be no dings or distractions from people walking by or other babies crying. Barry's aunt gave me a sling just after I had Canon. I have a feeling I'll be wearing that a lot this summer.

What About Barry

Barry had an extremely busy day at work, and my day was pretty full, too. Needless to say, we didn't talk too much during the day. As I was leaving the hospital, however, we caught up. He likes to tease me about not doing anything up here even though he knows how busy it can be. Life just moves at a different pace in Birmingham. Even on days that I make plans to do something specific, it only occasionally gets done because time just seems to run out.