Baby Steps

The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some regard slowness, but is being patient toward you, because he does not wish for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9

Day of Life: 19 - Happy Birthday, MyGoo!

Barry was very sweet and let me sleep late this morning and, as such, we were rushed to get to church on time. I told Barry that the service started at 10:30, and I finally woke up at 9:50. We actually made it to the church by 10:40, not too bad considering all that goes in to getting me ready for the day. When we came in, the preacher was praying, and I thought to myself, "Good, we haven't missed Lydia singing yet." We found seats quickly, and I scanned the choir for Lydia. She wasn't there. She had to work today, but her boss gave her permission to leave to attend church so that she could sing with a small group during the service. "Ok," I thought, "she just hasn't gotten here from work yet." The collection plates were passed (this is done early in our church) so I still thought we were in the clear. And then . . . the preacher dismissed everyone for 11:00 Sunday School. That's right. We missed the entire service. It started at 9:30, and I'm sure everyone in the congregation thought we had just forgotten to reset our clocks last night. We laughed about it as we left.

It actually worked out for me because, as usual, I was eager to see Tera. We picked up some lunch and headed to see her for a couple of hours. Barry's boss, Suzanne, and her family stopped by for a quick visit. We then headed to Bob and Jamie's so that Barry could meet their new baby, Caroline.

Many of you probably already know this story, but for those of you that don't: Barry and Jamie started Kindergarten together and stayed in school together through elementary school, middle school, high school, college, and graduate school. When we graduated from Birmingham-Southern, the newspaper did a write-up about how long they had been learning together. School didn't stop them from doing everything at the same time. Two months after Canon was born, Jamie and Bob had their first child, Eleanor. Then, when Bob and Jamie got pregnant again, so did we. Ironically, our second baby was supposed to come two months after theirs. Barry says, however, that he just couldn't let Jamie beat him at anything, and that is why Tera made her first appearance early! You can imagine how close we are to Jamie and Bob!

After our visit, it was time for Barry to head back to Dothan. He and I will both be alone this week as Nonna and Poppa are keeping Canon with them and MyGoo has taken her leave from me here. This weekend was much better than the last, though I don't know that that one could have gotten much sadder. We were able to do a lot of things alone, something we rarely ever do even when we don't have a baby in the hospital. We also got plenty of opportunities to rest, again something we rarely ever get. It was a great weekend, and we're both excited about meeting up again in a few days. So this is how long-distance relationships work. You get lots of other people to take care of your needs (in our case, our children), then you get to do whatever you want. I can see how that could work!

After a quick nap, I headed back to the hospital. On this new floor, lots of families keep their doors closed and curtains drawn. I don't think anything badly about families that do that, but I always felt like a snob when I do. So I typically leave mine open. Today, however, I wanted to try something different - reading to Tera. My friends, Ben and Christie, sent a book to me via Barry called Praying the Scriptures for your Children. I don't remember praying for this book, but someone must have been asking God to send this to me because it is exactly what I need up here. It gives real-life accounts of mothers who are either struggling with prayer or who have seen the power of prayer working in the lives of their children. I have always prayed for Canon every night, and have increased that practice here in Birmingham for both of our children, but sometimes a mom just needs some help.

I first perused the Table of Contents to see what help I could get in praying for Canon and Tera in our current situation. "Praying for Health and Safety" and "Praying for Kids in Crisis" are about half-way down the list. The first pages are devoted to "Praying for Your Child's Faith." I wanted desperately to turn to the health and safety pages. Like a child, I want my immediate needs fulfilled first, then I will get to the long-term faith and salvation stuff. I gave in to my adult conscience, however, and began with Chapter 1, "Praying for Your Child's Salvation." I began to read aloud - softly, but aloud - to Tera.

I am so glad that I was led to start here, at the beginning of the book (because starting to read a book at the beginning is typically looked on as odd behavior). Among dozens of other things, this chapter offered me three key thoughts and strategies that are going to get me through not only this experience, but those that are to come as well.

The first point I took was actually a quote: "When you pray for your children, you join God in the work he is doing in their lives." Now, I am all about "giving it to God" and "laying down my burdens," but it is nice to know that even in my prayers, I am contributing to God's plans for my children.

Next there was a discussion of Elizabeth, John the Baptist's mother. Elizabeth was destined to have no children, but she remained patient with God. This patience helped build in her a strength that other mothers might not typically have. Of course, she finally gave birth to her son, John. Because of this experience, Elizabeth was able to offer support and encouragement to Mary, Jesus' mother. Though Mary was going through a different kind of difficulty, God used Elizabeth's experience to make Mary's experience better. This offers me encouragement as well. Just as some of my friends who have also had preemies and have been able to offer me advice, stories, and prayers, I too will join that club and serve as a testimony for someone else going through their own difficult situation.

Finally, one of the reasons I love this chapter so much. The author listed three things to do to develop the kind of patience that Elizabeth had. First, pray with an attitude of thanksgiving. Despite the hardship, be thankful for what God is doing in my life. Second, build your own faith. This really spoke to me because of the thoughts I mentioned earlier. I was so eager to get a quick fix for my child's health issues, that I was willing to neglect the foundations I need to help get her there. Third, be persistent. Pray without ceasing.

Probably my favorite thing about this book is that at the end of each chapter, the author has taken several pieces of scripture that accompany the topic she discusses. She writes out the scripture, leaving a blank for you to fill in your children's names. This way, I am not only praying for my children, but I am praying straight from God's Word, the way He wants me to pray. This is my prayer for tonight:

"I pray that Canon and Tera, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all understanding, that Canon and Tera may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:18-19

The entire time I was reading, Tera was high-satting. This means that she was retaining more oxygen than she needed to, which meant she actually needed less than she was getting. In short, this is a good thing. It was especially good considering I had the door on her bed open so that she could hear me read, so a trace amount of oxygen was escaping through that door. Once I finished and closed the door, I sat and wrote in my journal for a few minutes. During that time, her monitors never went off. She was perfectly content in her surroundings. And as soon as I finished writing, she de-satted, meaning that she fell into too deep of a sleep and needed to be roused to remember to breathe. That girl's going to give me fits!

I found out shortly after that Tera gained 33 grams during the day (up to 2 pounds 3 ounces), and her oxygen had been improving very slightly all afternoon. The two things I had been watching either fall or remain stagnant all weekend finally decided to make a move uphill. Baby steps.