From Rest to Action

Day of Life: 7

The Plan for Today:
While yesterday was a day of rest, today looks like it might turn into a day of action. MyGoo and I made it to the hospital in time to see the doctors make their rounds. This is what they have decided for the day:
1. Tera will get another Echocardiogram to see how the PDA is doing. They were hoping it would close on its own, but depending on how everything else is going, they may have to start some Endocin (like Ibuprofen) to help the opening close up.
2. They want to take the tubes in her belly button out. There is a risk of infection if these stay in too long, so they will be replaced with a PICC Line. This will be inserted in either her elbow or her groin and will allow the nurses to draw blood and/or inject fluids when needed.
3. They will start her feedings again today (yay!!). Dr. Toms wants her to be getting my milk to help her digestive and gastro systems to develop properly. If they decide to start the Endocin, they will have to withdraw these feedings again later.
4. They really want to get her off of the ventilator. Her oxygen levels have been good, but it has been a very slow process to get them there. They will try to do the PICC Line before taking her off the ventilator because inserting that line will definitely cause some stress, which could then cause her to be back on the ventilator.

So, we tentatively have a lot to look forward to / worry about today. Everything is separate yet connected at the same time. If "this" doesn't work, then we can't do "that" and if "those" numbers aren't right then we'll adjust "these." While I feel ten times more confident about all of this terminology than I did when I first walked in here on Saturday, I am still nowhere near understanding enough to communicate it clearly and accurately to friends and family, but hopefully you get the gist.

The nurses here are very big on letting parents take on some of the responsibilities of caring for their babies. Today, Helen let me take on my first task, swabbing Tera's mouth to keep it moist. This is Tera sucking on the little sponge and holding my finger. Finally, I feel like I'm doing something!


What Actually Happened Today:
Not too much of anything happened today, which put me (along with some nurses and grandparents) in slight distress. At almost 2:00, no orders had been given to take care of anything that Dr. Toms requested that morning. Thankfully, Helen went ahead and had them bring some of my milk down so that she could still feed her when the orders did come through. At 5:00, she had her first feeding since Sunday night, 2cc.


When Shannon (night nurse) checked her tummy three hours later to see if she had any residuals almost all of the milk was still there. Fortunately, it was still "intact" and not the bile that they had found on Sunday. So, as gross as it is, they refed her the same milk to see if she would digest it on the second round.

About 5:45, a doctor came by to get me to sign a consent for the PICC Line, though we were told it would not actually happen until late in the night or the morning. The Echo still has not been ordered, which is a bit frustrating because that will tell us more about the PDA which will help make some other decisions about feedings, etc. We've asked two doctors and pretty much anyone else that will come in the room if they know if the orders have been given for that. No one knows anything about it, but everyone is checking on it! I feel better all ready . . .

Everyone told me to be an advocate for my child here, and this was the first time I felt confident doing that. One particular doctor came in, and from where I sat, he just wasn't prepared. They were in the middle of a shift change, and he was updating his replacement. When Helen asked about the Echo, he made something up about doing a reread on the Echo that was taken Saturday that originally showed the PDA. Then he mentioned that we were continuing the Endocin to try to close that up. Finally - I know what he's talking about! "No, we're not doing any of that" were my words in a nutshell. Yes! I'm on my way to an M.D. and I've only been here a few days. "I'll check on that" was his response. I won't hold my breath.

The docs made rounds about 9:30, at which point we still didn't know what was happening with the Echo, but don't worry, they're checking on it. Dr. Sims was very impressed with Tera's respirations and gas levels. He ordered a blood gas to be taken at 10:30 to determine if Tera can come off the vent. This made me a little nervous because the PICC Line still is not in, and Dr. Toms was worried this morning that the stress of inserting that line might cause some problems. Dr. Sims, however, does not have the same concerns and is eager to take advantage of the opportunity to take her off the vent and start strengthening her lungs as soon as possible. If the window is there tonight, he wants to take it. This is going to be very interesting balancing between the Agressive Doc and the Steady Doc. I guess it depends on the night, and I'm just going to have to trust my instincts and the situation at hand.

I told Shannon that I didn't think I could handle staying to see them remove the vent. I watched her struggle to breathe on her own the day that I got here, and it was not something that I wanted to see again. I promised to call at all hours of the night to check on her. I feel like a horrible mother leaving like this, but I think it's a good sign that I trust these people so much to take care of her. I'm still at a place where I need to see her relaxed and comfortable. I'll be able to see her struggling once my hormones are more balanced.
How are Barry and Canon?
You tell me . . .

Nana (Mrs. Sharon) has been picking Canon up from school everyday and taking him to do all kinds of fun things. Today, they rode on the golf cart. When Nana told him she wanted to take a picture for Mommy, he said "Cheese!" automatically before she could even get her camera out. Technology is amazing these days. Because of our iPhones, Barry and I can see each other when we talk. It's called Face Time. Tonight, I got to see Barry and Canon before the Can Man went to bed. I even got to show them how Tera was doing. I think that Canon knows that Tera is a part of our lives now, but he just wants her in small doses. Sometimes if I mention her, he says "No, Tera" but he'll always say "La Loo" (Love You) when he sees her. After singing "Whole World" they went to bed. I can tell Barry is exhausted, but I know they are doing so great. Our friends and neighbors in Dothan are taking care of them as well as our friends and family in Birmingham are taking care of Tera and me.